Eeee - Yeeeew, Cameron plays a stinker ...

As I sit here reading and listening to different reports on Cameron's meetings with the EU president and EU parliament over the last few days, I am left bewildered and confused.

Did Dave arrive late for his vital EU meeting (Gruniad) or was he just delayed: or perhaps on holiday? (BBC)

Has the EU Parliament said, "No problem, Dave, you can have your sham 'deal' to save your own political arse at Westminster." (BBC) or "Take a running jump if you think you are getting away with this load of old cobblers." (National)

What is an honest citizen to make of these mixed messages from our media and political wonks as they scurry hither and thither contradicting each other at every turn?

Here I sit, confused of Tarff Valley, sifting through what is being said, has been claimed to have been said and the plethora of conflicting views and analysis on what may have been said or not said. I am seeking a latter day Alexander to slice through this Gordian Knot of misdirection, obfuscation and chicanery. I smell a big, fat rat which has been lying dead under my floor boards for a week or more and have no clear reason for smelling this rat, short of my utter disregard and contempt for Cameron and any shreds of integrity or honesty he has left clinging to him.

The EU Council of Ministers will inevitably come up with some sort of joint statement which will be able to be read in the common EU political language as, "It means just exactly what what ever a member state wishes it to mean, subject to ratification by the EU Parliament, umpteen years down the line."

So Cameron will return with a piece of paper with all the solidity of Chamberlain's 1938 'Peace in our time' assurance and like Chamberlain will have to start preparing himself for battles he knows are on the horizon, not with the UK nation but his own party members, the instinctive 'Little Englanders' who still see the UK's (aka England's) role as a world leader, a role vital to their self esteem and sense of 'Britishness' as they swathe themselves in St George Cross flags, singing 'Rule Britannia' at the slightest excuse.

Cameron's problems do not start or end there. The 'Separatist Jocks' are not buying Osborne and Hand's latest wheeze to reduce the 'Scotch Budget' ever smaller, in fact it turns out those one party state, fascist SNP negotiators never have bought the 'pig in a poke' the UK Treasury were trying to sell Scotland from day one. Lord Forsyth, Tory Grandee and last 'Viceroy of Scotland' admitted as much a couple of Tuesday's ago. The weight of economic and other evidence supports the SNP case and resolution but you will not hear anyone in the London media admitting this.

Meanwhile Hunt's cunning plan for NHS England has, since he imposed the 'new' contract on Junior Doctors, seen the GMC receive 1,000 requests from Junior Doctors in England, for the necessary certificates to move overseas and a growing anger from the plebs of England as they wake up to just how badly they are being screwed over on the issue of NHS provision in England; as more and more of the 'profitable bits' are sold off to Virgin, Serco and other healthcare companies who just happen to have Labour and Tory MPs as their specialist, corporate advisers and shareholders. Hunt is now scared that sufficient numbers of English health trusts and authorities are having cold feet over the impact on junior doctor numbers and their ability to meet the 'patient treatment unit' targets set by Hunt if they enforce the 'new' contract, so he has sent out an edict telling NHS England's Trusts and Authorities if they do not enforce the 'new' Junior Doctor contract they will have their already pretty thread bare funding, cut further.

In the background, running like an open sore, is the failure of Duncan-Smith's big plan for the DWP which is under attack from charities, experts, the UK Courts and the MP's in the oversight select committee. A plan, so far, described as ill thought through, badly managed, a muddle, failing to achieve any of its projected costs savings, an example of how not to procure a publicly funded IT system, an ever increasing pit of taxpayer expenditure for no end result, a plan for poverty which is creating untold suffering among the most vulnerable in the UK - the sick, the disabled and children.

Did I mention Osborne's big UK economic growth plan falling flat on its face as the world economy looks again down the barrel of a fiscal collapse in 2016 which may make 2008 look like a tea party?

Cameron does not have his problems to seek, they are all stacking up on his desk at number ten and have nowhere else to go. I almost feel sorry for him.

PS: There is nothing 'new' about the Junior Doctor Contract in England, the negotiations have been going on for over three years. The BMA have been constant in warning the Tory Government the main impact of the contract will be the exodus of the best of the Junior Doctors from NHS England overseas or to the NHS in other parts of the UK. I have seen this exodus happen before, in 1990 when the imposition of a 'new' dental contract saw dentists exiting the NHS in England in unprecedented numbers either overseas or into private practice. In 1990 97% of all dental care was provided under NHS dental contract in England, by 2015 68% of all dental care in England was provided by private contract. The Tories are currently trying to finish off the last pockets of NHS Dentistry in England by imposing a 'new' contract which is unworkable for current, dentist owned NHS practices so they can sell off the remaining provision to private health companies.