Shake's Head: Unionist stupidity - exceeds expectations

For over a week before we had heard from the UK media's political moles how Cameron's propaganda war would put the Jockanese splitists on the back foot once and for all. The Telegraph was honest in making it clear that Cameron was launching a 'propaganda war' to save the 'Union'. We splitists waited with baited breath as the feared campaign was set in motion. The first major blow of Cameron's campaign was launched on Monday 11th of February. We hid in our splitist shelters to escape its fiery blast, listening to the count down to Westminster's nuclear propaganda explosion.

Did the earth move? Were we splitists rent asunder? Had the Westminster explosion ripped the feet from under us? We listened for the explosion, the end of his 'Eckness', Scotland, the world. Yet all there was to be heard was the sound of a flaccid 'pop', all that had gone off was a damp squib. Surely we thought that can not be the extent of Cameron's much trumpeted weapon of splitist destruction. It must be a ruse to get us out in the open and then the real bomb would go off. Us splitists with a 'Dogbert' bolt on spine left the shelter to see what had happened and assess the risk, reports came back; what we had heard was all there was. It was indeed a damp squib.

Of course this did not stop the media organs of the Westminster state from pushing the line about how devasting the damp squib had been to the splitist cause. The Abominable Noman's unearthly cry was heard around the glens yelling Scotland would never get into Europe for a millennium. The 'Last of the Tories' was rushing around telling us how the splitists were tied up in a bundle of 14,000, 14,000,000 or was it 14 international treaties that were un-negotiable and Scotland would be cast adrift isolated from the world for all eternity.

The Secretary of State for Scotland (another endangered speices) told us according to the Westminster expert evidence Scotland does not exist apart from as a region of England (see section 50 of the Unionist report). This raises the question of just why are Scottish tax payers paying £10+ million a year for a non existent Scottish Office, serving a non-existent country? As Nicola pointed out on the 'Today' program this piece of genious constitutional thinking meant an independent Scotland would not have to accept any share of the UK National debt. Even Mr Humphries had a good laugh about the stupidity of the Westminster claim.

The really interesting point one of the author's of the Unionist report made on the BBC 'Today' radio program was that if Scotland said 'yes' in 2014 the negotiation time table for independence, EU, NATO and UN entry, recently set out by the Scottish Government (which the Abominable Noman et al had told us was unrealistic), was most certainly achievable by March 2016.

All this reminded me of my submariner friends problems of using the loo whilst dived. In the conventional submarines of the day, the sequencing of flushing, via stop cocks and levers, had to be done carefully and in the correct order if not, you got your own back. It appears there is now a Cameron shaped clean area on the inside of the door to the loo compartment.