Who has got problems with the clap?

Sadly it seems a significant chunk of the Scottish electorate are buying the latest 'SNP are childish by giving folk the clap' line from the usual guardians of truth we know as the UK MSM.

They buy this line this despite a number of Labour MPs twittering what a load of old cobblers the UK MSM is spreading about the SNP's antics. The question no one is asking is just why is the British Establishment getting its venerable knickers in such a twist?

Why do the powers that be feel so 'Blattered' they have to spin puerile stuff such as 'Please, sir, they are sitting in my seat!' or a multitude of versions of the SNP 'Jockalpse Droogs' are now terrifying and bullying House of Commons old folk and their cats. These acts of wanton democracy from the 'Jockalpse Droogs' are so scary poor Diddy Cameron can not get his bills reducing the UK to a Nazi Socialist State passed so he has had to cut them from the School Governor's annual speech. Worse the 'Jockalpse Droogs' told the Headmaster Diddy had not even read the school rules properly and if they want to give someone the clap, they could go ahead and do it. To make things worse these horrible 'Jockalpse Droogs' only go on and point out all the precedents for giving folk the clap in the House of Commons.

This clearly was not meant to happen in a situation where the Headmaster of the Commons could make up the rules to suit his best pals and ignore the ones that made them look silly. It was not simply about whether you could give someone the clap but also (and more importantly) about the attempt by the Etonian gang to make changes to the school rules on the sly to stop the 'Jockalpse Droogs' from voting and spoiling the Etonian's fun. Why would anyone want to stop peasants being thrown out on the streets, their children chased by unemployed fox hunts and foreigners massacred for having the stupidity to speak differently; as for dressing in an un-British manner that was definitely a hanging offence, leaving Diddy and his pals in a state of confusion. Its OK we Etonian's are going to put hanging back on the British statute books so we can cleanse England (sorry we meant Britain, of course) of these 'men in skirts' and their infernal bag pipes once and for all. We will make an exception for Eddie Izzard as he is technically one of us Brits.

In the background the Jockalpse Droogs are being egged on by a Scottish electorate who by and large are shouting to Diddy and his pals 'We're takin' youse behind thon bike sheds fir a doin, so we are.' The threat of violence would be bad enough but to hand out the 'doin' within the lawful rules, well that is beyond the pale. So the Etonian's get their oikish friends in the British media to shout as loud as they can, as many variations of 'Its not fair, this was not meant to happen.' as they can.

All this hubris and hyperbole from the British Establishment against the SNP's MPs can only mean one thing and one thing alone, after 'winning the referendum' the British Establishment have woken up on the wrong side of the street, their head in the gutter, suffering a God awful hangover, their dicky bows and shoes covered in sick, their bums sore and no clue how they actually got there. The only answer the British Establishment can come up with is the Jockalpse Droogs slipped something naughty into their gin and tonics, so it is not our fault, Headmaster, Sir, that big boy Alex did it and ran away.

Don't you just love the smell of democracy in the morning?

Labour's one trick pony needs retiring.

Labour's one trick pony, vote Labour because your Granny did, is now so knackered that it is only fit to be put out to grass. The myth of them being 'for the people' has been debunked once and for all in what was for decades their homelands of Northern England and Scotland.

Prior to the 7th of May the usual media suspects were telling Scots that a vote for the SNP was a betrayal of English socialists and UK worker solidarity. The idiocy of the idea that the only way to stop the Tories was for Scotland to vote Labour, deflated like a slow puncture as the statistical analysis exposed one main truth: the English electorate always decide the party of Government for the rest of the UK and have done consistently since 1945.

Labour failed to win England as their support stayed at home. Labour lost Scotland because they had become 'Red Tories' in the eyes of their previous supporters then went on and proved the point by anointing a Blairite, right wing, proponent of caring neo-liberalism (an oxymoron if there ever is one) Jim Murphy as the man to save the Scots from themselves and do the 'right thing' by Labour.

As Murphy and McCluskey bickered in Scotland, Ed Milliband was pushed this way and that by Hampstead and Islington focus groupies, the ordinary folk across the UK came to the same conclusion, there is little or no difference between the proper Tories and the Labour Tories.

Labour are losing vote share because they have nothing to say to the social democrat and socialist voters who still inhabit the UK in large numbers. In Scotland they faced a proven, tested and effective left of centre social democratic party portrayed as 'MacMarxists' by the London media (who also talk less and less to the people of the UK, more and more to themselves and the Westminster bubble) and lost all but one seat. In the SW of England, long a bastion of England's social democratic soul, the electorate kept their hands in their pockets because they had no one to vote for. In the Northern socialist leaning counties Labour lost traction to UKIP in a 'you are not listening to us' protest vote, similar to the initial rise of the SNP at Holyrood.

Labour can learn from its Scottish disaster and the starting point has little to do with the battles for the soul of the 'party' between all the usual factions, think tanks and focus groups nor through the civil war now raging in LCP's across the UK nor whether it should chase 'big business' or stick with the Trade Unions.

The starting point is Labour does not know what it stands for. Labour looks and sounds like a minime Tory Party which is trying to pretend it is left of centre but whose core policies are right of centre and barely social democratic in any shape or form.

People do not vote for a 'pig in a poke' party like Labour, even if it is wrapped in your Grannies' old Labour ticked ballot papers. Until Labour get their head around 'You can not fool all the people all the time' they are doomed to continue to repeat the errors and failures in their attempts to recapture the sham that was Blairism and a reducing vote share in England.

There I was, digging a hole ...

"There I was, a-digging this hole. 
A hole in the ground, 
So big and sort of round it was
There was I, digging it deep
It was flat at at the bottom and the sides were steep"

Then along came a 'bowler hat' who pointed out the hole was in the wrong place and the wrong shape so had to be filled in. The cost for this operation, working out the hole was in the wrong place and wrong shape, was charged out to the UK tax payer at a cool £1.4 million.

Just stop and think about that figure - £1.4 million. For that sum of UK taxpayer's money we could have funded 2,500 Shelterboxes for Nepal at a time when there are still far too many Nepalese earthquake survivors with no cover over their heads and the wet monsoon season only a few weeks away. Each box provides shelter for up to ten people.

Nearer to home, how many folk who need basic help from foodbanks would this sum have supported?

So the investigation has 'cost' the civil service £1.4 million and the result was much as many of the Scottish electorate could have told them for a minimal 'tuppence worth'; a political lie and deceit without foundation. In fact the UK Establishment was told it was a lie and a deceit in under two hours of the 'story' breaking in the Torygraph and yet the whole abysmal concoction was allowed to grow and grow and grow, like Topsy the elephant, only to deflate with a massive stench as Topsy could no longer hold the ever expanding fart in. The result is Carmichael has taken the rap as the 'fall guy' while protecting 'Fluffy' Mundell's backside in the process. As other commentators have made clear, are we honestly expected to believe Mundell was not in the Scottish Office decision making circle which agreed the overtly damaging press release to the Torygraph and its whipping up to a storm in the London based media.

I expected no less from what remains of the Libdems than for them to stick their heads up their own backsides. Some folk are shocked but what else could they do but their usual - a big boy did it and ran away. OK, it was our own big boy but the principle holds. 

Remnants of the Libdem Party are in headless chicken mode, they actually have no head. The Libdems have yet to cough up the £800,000 they owe Police Scotland for their Glasgow Conference and the chances are they will ever do so, as their party implodes, are next to zero as they are almost skint. The loss of MPs directly impacts on their party funding for next year coupled with how many 'backers' will support their next party conference or purchase exhibition space?

The Libdems are now so far behind, may I dare to say bankrupt, fiscally and electorally, denial is all they can afford and is all they have left. It is no surprise, just like Bernard Cribben's labourer, they have decided the solution to this lie and deceit was to bury it along with the messenger:
"Well there we were, discussing this hole
A hole in the ground so big and sort of round it was
Well it's not there now, the ground's all flat
And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat
And that's that"

Laborious Labour ..

Down in the cellars of John Smith House where the smell of formaldehyde mixes with that of burning rubber from high voltage wires, as Labour's own Igor Murphy clinks jars together, peering myopically through his Uncle's eyes at the bits and pieces of the so recently eviscerated corpse of Scotch Labour he has felt were useful to save. Stored around the walls are parts of previous 'New' Labour monsters that had been rescued from previous disembowelments they had suffered in Scotland since 2007.  The brain of Henry McLiesh, the bald pate of John Smith, the glasses and nose of Donald Dewar, part of Wendy Alexander's back with her brother's knife still stuck in it, Joke McConnell's bent buttocks and in a tiny test tube the heart of Ian Gray - just visible to the naked eye. These were just the highlights of the make yourself a 'Scotch Labour Party' kit now in Igor Murphy's hands - as he rubbed all three together in expectation - all thumbs, no fingers.

Igor's face split into what many consider to be a grin but many others state is just him breaking wind, in fact his grin split so wide that Igor had to quickly stitch the split back up before the back of his head fell off. Igor looked through the collection of scalps and decided today he would be blonde; with a few snips, the grey of yesterday was gone and, with a neat running stitch, replaced with a Donald Trump special as he felt a 'Boris' was just a bit over the top.

Igor looked carefully over the catalogue of spare parts on offer, rejecting the few remnants of Keir Hardy or John Mclean left on the shelves. Manny Shinwell's hands and arms were thrown to the back of the bin along with Bevin (A)'s legs and Clement Atlee's bald head, Micheal Foot's feet went the same way, closely followed by Kinnock's mouth. Still Igor Murphy rummaged around the shelves and in the formaldehyde filled tin baths from the disused 'Steamie' seeking to find the bits his new creation needed to terrorise the stupid Scottish electorate back into submissiveness and bend them once more to Labour's all powerful will. His master, Dr Blair, expected no less and if Igor failed him again Igor would be looking for a new job, if he was lucky, or having the useful parts of him shared around the Igor family, if not. Igor's let nothing go to waste, after all, who knows when a spare pair of hands will come in useful.
 
The corpse of Scotch Labour was beyond repair, it had no spine and, as a result, its head was attached directly to its own arse. Igor knew he had to create distance between the two and a broomstick would not cut the mustard. He looked around for a replacement body, one of his previous masters had been a vampire, a Count Edward Ballockovitch, so he decided the place to start with was a virgin. Yet where to find one in the West of Scotland?

Realising the impossibility of the task, he advertised for an assistant and in the process found just the woman he needed, who it appeared was as good as virginal - at least in a political sense. She was extremely excited to be selected, saying to the Labour arranged press conference she had always wanted to be apprenticed to an Igor and what a knock out it was for her to be given this opportunity. Igor duly obliged and there she was strapped down on the gurney in front of him, frontal lobotomy completed and her brain stem genetically modified to hate the SNP on sight, smell or touch.  Igor her let her out under the close supervision of Bailey Bridget on Thursday lunch times to check progress and the Frankykiez seemed to be working as designed. More still needed to be done, ordinary folk had noticed she seemed to be a one trick pony and her Dad was clearly getting increasingly worried about his previously bright daughter's descent into zombie politics.

Igor was still not content, on occasions the Frankykiez still failed to reject the SNP out of hand, worse she even agreed with them once. More had to be done to perfect his new 'Scotch Labour' machine. There was a chap on the cellar door, the door creaked as only an Igor can make a door creak, and an undertaker from Kirkcaldy came in, who was known as the 'Wraith Rover' due to his travels all over Scotland for Igor. He had a cool box in his hands and announced he had obtained the human appendages Igor Murphy had been asking for, the special parts needed to complete Igor's new Labour masterpiece.

Igor Murphy rubbed his hands in glee and removed the body parts from their wrappings - his face split with what was presumed to be a grin (but could have been wind) and then he laughed the hollow, empty, spine chilling laugh of an Igor.

"Good," Igor lisped in best Igor style, "thisss will complete the Frankykeish and render her all powerful, new Labour will live again!", as he held up the great clunking fist of Gordon Brown and the rampaging eyebrows of Alisdair Darling.

My one wish is ...

I have just finished reading 'Child 44', a novel about a serial child killer rampaging across the post war Russian landscape. Children, whose deaths and abuse at his hands, are being ignored by the State as it does not fit with the State's view of Russia and where serial murders of children only happen in the decadent West. A few local homosexuals and mentally deranged men are shot as a form of appeasement to local communities but the idea it is just one man is an anathema to the 'authorities'.

The film of the book has upset Mr Putin, supposedly, because of its overt criticism of 'Uncle Joe' Stalin's repressive regime by highlighting the societal failure, the divisions of wealth and privilege such a system of fear and repression creates. Mr Putin fails to support Nikita Kruschev's condemnation of Stalin's regime which is mentioned at the end of the book and sees the maligned hero and heroine of the book rehabilitated by the new order. Anyone who has read Solzhenitsen's 'Gulag Archipelago' will consider Mr Putin as being highly sensitive or in complete denial on the nature of Stalin's excesses and the deaths Stalin's policies caused amongst the Russian 'kulaks' in the 1930's famines which swept Russia.

Yet as we mock at Mr Putin's verbal panegyrics over Stalin, closer to home we see the same apparatus of the UK State in denial about equal unpleasantness amongst its 'grandees' and 'establishment' as the Westminster paedophile cover up continues on its slimy and grease way.

In the last year we have seen known child abusers, who were involved in the supply of young people to Dolphin Square and the Elm Guest House, sent to jail for their own abusive crimes but no mention made of their supply of children to the Westminster paedophile ring, highlighted in the 1994 'Jillings Report', in the charges brought against them. The British Establishment are playing Stalin's game of throwing a few known criminals to the court process in an attempt to shut down the hue and cry over the real failure, to bring the high level abusers to account.

The same British Establishment has had its cover blown when Lord Tebbitt let slip in a TV interview that the paedophile cover up had been agreed by Mrs Thatcher in the early 80's because a few 'bad eggs' could not be allowed to bring down the British Establishment, the cover up was for 'the greater good'. The same lie as Stalin and his Chekists would parrot as justification for what ever system of repression or mass murder they were undertaking. At the end of 'Child 44' the author has one of his character's humorously suggest Stalin had died because he had recently pogromed all the top doctors in the Soviet State and there was no doctors with sufficient skills left to save him.

It appears the original Tory cover up was as equally Stalinist in its shutting down or obstruction of all police investigations with respect to Dolphin Square and the Elm Guest House, culminating in Home Secretary's, Leon Britain, alleged destruction of evidence portfolio's handed to him by MPs concerned about the levels of child abuse complaints related to the British State in the early 1980's. As a serving Naval Officer, of this period, I find it incredulous that MI6 was not monitoring these abusive activities by senior members of the British Establishment given the potential for the KGB's turning of high ranking MP's and others, such as judges and senior civil servants, who are allegedly involved. Naval Officers were carefully briefed about known KGB 'honey trap' activities prior to shore visits across Europe and up until the mid 1990's I would have had to seek permission from Naval Intelligence to visit any part of the old Soviet Block.

Yet we are supposed to believe there is nothing to see here, there was no security risk or breach, none of those senior members of the British Establishment were turned by the KGB on finding out about their proclivities for underage boys and girls?

As a sop to the growing concern amongst the UK public and the testimony of those who were abused, the UK public are being thrown a few crumbs in the aftermath of the exposure of Saville, Cyril Smith and the rest as serial child abusers. It is notable the senior British Establishment names coming to the surface are either dead (Fairbairn, Morrison, Hall and Britain) - or allegedly senile (Lord Janner). In the meantime the Tory's are beavering away with legislation to prevent any investigation into the scandal reaching members of the Royal Family.

All this before anyone in the British Establishment or the media gives 'too hoots' for the young people abused by these 'men of importance', or the trauma and psychological damage these abusers have caused them.

My one wish is this:

The SNP group at Westminster put every legitimate pressure on the 'Establishment' at Westminster to  come clean and compensate all those people who, as young men and women, have been victims of this abuse of power and privilege by the powerful and privileged. Openly accept this abuse by members of the British Establishment has happened, name names - no matter how 'senior' or how embarrassing this will be for the self same 'British Establishment'.

In Scots Law all are equal before the law and subject to it. According to Magna Carta fans the same is true for English Law, not even the English Royal family are above the law. It is time to demonstrate to the UK electorate that our parliamentarians at Westminster take this right of equality before the law seriously and ensure all parties involved in this sordid and evil tale of child abuse are investigated without fear or favour and not just the disposable minions or the deceased are exposed.

Failure to expose this deep seated corruption and cover up  sees the Westminster parliamentary system condemned as being no better than Stalin's Politbureau and equally as repressive, corrupt, self ingratiating and self serving. The Westminster Parliament has already been kicked out of the 'last chance saloon', in my eyes, this is one final attempt to recover it from the shit pit which it finds itself already half submerged in.

In doing so the SNP will win the respect of the UK electorate and drive the reform of the failed Westminster Parliamentary system or bring about the end of the Union, depending how Cameron and his Tories respond.

1974 and all that ...

So it begins, as Cameron's hubris meets the hard reality of not just the people who bothered to vote in England but the 37% who did not. It appears from the growing level of protests in England and Wales' cities, the disenfranchised English electorate are organising, as protests against austerity flower in the SW of England, South Wales and London. In the meantime folk in the North of England are petitioning to join Scotland, if the Scots exit the UK Union. The traditional heart of anti-Tory action, the Trade Unions, are also talking of national strikes and days of action against austerity and zero hours contracts. All this before the problems the Tory Party faces from an SNP MP majority from Scotland who legally and constitutionally can claim to represent the considered will of the people of Scotland at Westminster, a will the UK Supreme Court has deemed 'paramount' on two occasions since 2010, in accordance with Lord Cooper's 1953 judgement in McCormack.

Cameron may think as he has a 'majority' he can seek to ignore Scotland in much the same way as his heroine, Mrs Thatcher, did. The problem here is that he does not hold the respect of his MPs which Thatcher did in her first two terms, as Tory bank bench MPs openly talk about when 'Boris' will become PM. Neither can Cameron be assured his attacks on the human rights of UK citizens will come to fruition as senior Thatcherite Tories are already making their positions known in the Tory press that such a move is untenable in much the same way as they briefed against Cameron's attempts to put British 'boots' on the ground in Syria.

When it comes to Scotland the most Thatcherite of politicians Lord Forsyth is now making it known that full fiscal autonomy for Scotland is the only way to save the UK Union. He seeks to soften the blow by suggesting a re-run of the 'NO' campaign will put Scots off the idea but for the man who opposed the 1998 Scotland Act and its recent amending bill, at every turn, it is quite a shift in position.

For those of us over the age of 50, the Tories position looks more like the situation Edward Heath inherited in the 1970's than the swinging hand bag of Thatcher. Cameron has managed, in the few days since the 7th of May, to rub a large section of the English electorate the wrong way, forced the unions to remember what their actual job is as opposed to not upsetting New Labour Central Office, brought thousands of English folk onto the streets in protest against his government's policies and driven yet another wedge in the growing crack between the Scots and the rest of the UK by giving one of his pals a 'Lordship' then making them number two at the inappropriately named Scottish Office (or should that be 'Scotch Office') to the equally iffy 'Fluffy Mundell' (majority 789). Mundell managed to annoy Scots even further by his ignorance over whether or not Cameron's headline bill to end links to the EHRC can be legal in Scotland when opposed by the Scottish Parliament and the majority of MPs from Scotland. Now Scots find Fluffy's number two at the 'Scotch Office' was the architect of the hated 'Poll Tax', you just can not make up the political advantage of such an ill thought through appointment gives the SNP. It is as if Cameron has believed all the tosh and nonsense published by Severin Carroll and others in the 'Gruniad' about the good Jim Murphy did for Labour's 'Scotch' branch and looked around for a Tory supporter he could make a peer to fill a Jim Murphy sized gap in the Tory Party.

The Sewel constitutional fudge was a way of getting round the as yet unresolved problem of just who represents the 'considered will of the people of Scotland' at Westminster by accepting that Holyrood probably did; but as it was run by the Unionists this did not really matter as the 'Scotch Party branches' would do as their London bosses told them to do. Sewel has only become an increasing constitutional problem for Westminster since 2007 when a minority SNP government was in place, now it is a nightmare because the majority of SNP MPs representing Scotland rather blunts Westminster's claims as being sovereign over the whole UK in line with Lord Cooper's opinion in McCormack (1953) especially given the issue I have highlighted time and time again that Scots Law and constitutional practice does not recognise the UK Parliament's claim to UK  Parliamentary sovereignty based on the solely English Law and constitutional principle of the 'Crown in Parliament'.

This is the increasingly hostile mix a Tory Party with a slim majority is facing much the same fragmenting civil populous who are increasingly angry at the growing divide between haves and have nots, while repeating the mistakes Heath made economically and with respect to curbing Trade Union's rights. The RMT are first into the ring with a democratically called general strike in opposition to the paltry offer on the table from National Rail.

How long before more ordinary folk turn back to the Unions, as a way of legally harassing and bringing Cameron's Government to its knees?

How long before the UK is reduced to the 'three day week' as a hamstrung Cameron Government, seeing falling tax income and no economic growth faces the wrath of the UK's citizens as energy and other costs continue to rise while personal incomes of the majority of UK citizens stagnate or fall?
  
Heath's problems came from expensive energy costs, falling tax receipts, reducing economic activity and an attempt to prop up the economy which lead to hyper-inflation. Cameron's situation is very similar except for the next to zero inflation operating in the current UK economy which is creating a need to borrow money hand over fist to pay for his government. Austerity and hyper-inflation are simply the opposite sides of the same coin of economic failure and societal breakdown, creating the same chaos as the UK went through in the 1970's with IMF bail outs, the whole works. This time round, Cameron will not have massive North Sea oil and gas reserves to mortgage off, which saved Mrs Thatcher's backside, as they have already been privatised and sold off.

Labour's wonks and Hampstead focus groups' choice will be simple, join with Cameron in a government of 'national (read English) unity' and sign their death warrant in England and Wales or find a spine and a true understanding of the Labour Party's founding principles.

As the Labour Party turns to born again 'Blairites', such as Chukka Umma, clasping at straws like the proverbial drowning man, the obituary for Labour can be written with an apocrypha telling the story of Labour's role in the destruction of the UK Union in its failure to heed the people rather than its vested interests.

On Friday, I trust Ms Sturgeon will begin to bring Cameron up to speed with regards just what a fragile position he now finds himself in, not the least being SNP MP's ripping up the failed Westminster rules and out dated modes of behaviour to expose the corruption at its heart.

She will also, I hope, point out respect, in Scotland, has to be earned, is never automatic and is always conditional, so if Cameron's Government wishes the Scots MPs to respect Westminster, Westminster is going to have to earn the Scots respect.

Long live the Union; but wait, the Union is Dead.

The confusion amongst English commentators and politicians continues to reverberate around in the empty corridors of Westminster and inside the emptier heads of its journalist pack, take this swivel eyed 'The Martians are coming' piece from the increasingly and inaccurately named 'Independent' for instance.

The rabbit in the head light approach epitomises the failure to grasp who Scotland voted for on the 7th of May, with a level of constituency by constituency support across Scotland the Westminster parties across the UK would have died for.

The Scots know exactly what the SNP stands for; unlike the author of the Independent's piece whose hate glands have over ridden any remaining commonsense he might have had, as the shock of what happened in Scotland has left him so bewildered and stunned.

The problem he and many of the more, vapid posters (in the comments) have to grapple with is the Westminster Parliament is the UK Union Parliament and not the English Parliament. The arrival of 56 SNP MP's clearly gives lie to this assumption that Westminster is an English Parliament with a group of 'Sweaty Jocks' attached as a favour, 'Sweaty Jocks' who are to be seen but not heard. Instead there is a group of  SNP MPs backed by 50% of the Scottish electorate, a group of MPs who now represent the 'considered will of the people of Scotland' at Westminster, a 'will' - as Ms Sturgeon made clear in Mondays photo opportunity at Westminster - the SNP MP's will express at every turn.

The reality that FPTP, so beloved by so many English commentators, has delivered this constitutional situation - like an SNP majority at Holyrood - which was never meant to happen, is a problem the UK's unwritten constitution faces, one it is now going to have to grapple with and will expose many of its centuries of fudges and fault lines.

In 1953 Lord Cooper, Lord President of the Court of Session, stated two clear problems the UK's unwritten constitution had not dealt with:

• That Scots Law and constitutional practice does not recognise the purely English concept of the 'crown in parliament'
• What would happen if a Scottish based party gained a majority of Scottish seats such that it would wield the powers of 'the considered will of the people of Scotland' at Westminster rather than a Unionist Party. A 'considered will' which on two occasions since 2010 the UK Supreme Court has agreed with Lord Cooper as being 'paramount'.

England has to grasp the reality the Scottish people decided, by a slim majority, to give the UK Union another chance. It is time to understand the SNP are bound by the self same 'considered will of the people of Scotland being paramount' on this matter until such time as a vote on ending the Union is won.

The ball is now very firmly in Mr Cameron and the Tories court and how this party with one MP in Scotland as one of a triumvirate of Unionist Party seats in Scotland reacts, will decide whether the UK Union will last past 2020 or not.

Time for commentators and politicians in England to wake up and smell the roses. You got your wish for the preservation of the UK Union; now you, like Scotland, will have to learn to live with the consequences.

One of which is a strong Scottish voice in the Union Parliament for the first time in the 300 plus years of its existence.

One Nation ... who is Cameron kidding?

Scotland voted centre left, social democrat - returning 56 SNP MPs - rejecting Cameron's austerity message with over 50% of the total Scottish vote cast.

Even if Scotland had returned 56 Labour MPs we would still have ended up with the Conservative Government England voted for.

England is now going to suffer the effects of voting Tory while the devolved parliaments use their funding to ameliorate the worst of the Tory excesses by covering bedroom tax, protecting their NHS from the stupidity being heaped on England's NHS. As a result the English electorate will claim 'Its not fair; bloody Taffs and Sweaty Jocks; how come they are not suffering the crap public services we now are?'

Cameron and his Tories' role in the further destruction of England's public services will be hidden behind the smoke screen of 'Subsidy Jocks' and 'Whiny Taffs' as Boris plays his 'Ajockalpse Now' meme to the full.

What five more years of the Tories means for the whole UK, along with increased poverty, homelessness, suicides and NHS crises in England, is another five years of the English being told it is all the Welsh and Scots fault and how hard done by they are by a compliant London media, all because they do not have their own 'parliament' - a media uncritical and unquestioning of ministerial and party political pronouncements as they live inside their warped London centric bubble.

No one will ever bother to point out, England got the Tory government it voted for, made its own bed and now has to lie in it.

In the meantime the large SNP contingent will screw every concession out of Cameron they can by threatening to block UK wide bills, acts and statutes by withholding the 'considered will of the people of Scotland' without which bills, acts and statutes can not be enacted in Scotland. 

 

For the first time in over 300 years the 'considered will of the people of Scotland' will not be under Unionist control which raises all sorts of problems for the UK unwritten constitution - not the least the SNP are bound by Scots Law and constitutional practice which does not even recognise the English Law and constitutional practice of the 'crown in parliament'.

One nation?

Cameron is only fooling himself and the English electorate or maybe he is just talking to and about the nation of England.

Denoument ...

The polls have just closed in Scotland and we now wait the long hours to find out if we, SNP supporters are about to be let down once again by folk in the thrall of the dead hand of Westminster or whether the surge of 2011 that swept us to a majority at Holyrood is about to be repeated.

Listening to members at the golf club wittering on about tactical voting, arguing with Tory fellow travelers to vote Labour because the Tory (though lying second in recent constituency polls) did not stand a chance; I could only hear one sentiment - fear, absolute terror, so wrapped up are they in the idea that a majority of SNP MPs from Scotland means another referendum. 

How could this be, they argued, the No vote won in September, why are the SNP doing so well. These men have waxed so fat on the rubbish they have read in their Scotsman's, Telegraph's and Daily Mails that they have failed or been unable to see that Scotland is changing and leaving them behind. In their blind panic they are left shouting the odds about SNP policies which only exists in the inflamed minds of a Cockburn, a Hjul or a Gardham. Their ignorance of what the SNP are actually saying is only outstripped by their anger and hatred. How dare the SNP and its supporters seek to change the face of British Politics by engaging fully in the UK Union Parliament, they should just bugger off back into their box because they lost in September, they do not want Westminster so why are they there.

As you listen while trying not to slap them, Monty Python style, with a large, cold, wet cod around the chops you wonder how these men, many of whom have run their own businesses or had high power roles in multi-national's and major corporation, are in so much denial. Their diatribe of the feckless poor, pregnant unmarried girls and immigrants comes straight from the pages of the papers they read without any cognition. These are not unintellectual men, they are not 'stupid' but to hear the rubbish they talk about a benefits system over which they have no clue and their denial there is now an underclass in the UK of the 'working poor' or the suicides directly related to Westminster Government policy on welfare as just SNP propaganda, leaves you speechless - even when, as I did today, point out the UK Courts were forcing the DWP to release all the figures relating sanctioning 'clients' with suicides.

Sadly these men are my friends. If I ever needed help, many of them would be amongst the first to offer it. They are not without compassion or empathy for people they think are 'like them' of whom one, even if I have weird political tastes, is me.

I could make the excuse they are 'old men' but some of the worst are my own age, late 50's; early 60's, but fixed in their prejudice - a mix of deliberate ignorance, denial and fear. Their 'world' is under threat, so they must fight for something that ever actually existed, except in the pages of their newspapers.

By this time tomorrow night I hope change has happened and the SNP are sitting on 30+ seats, at least next time I can quietly smile, sitting over a coffee, as they chunter on about the impending disaster of 30+ SNP MPs in a UK Parliament of 650,  thinking about the real constitutional change the UK Parliament will have to face with the SNP representing the considered will of the people of Scotland at Westminster. If they think the election of a large number of SNP MPs is going to be a disaster; they ain't seen nothing yet!

Fundilymundily Jim's Moanylith

You know things are going from bad to worse for a politician when the public awareness of them is their inability to use and pronounce big words. The next day they try to create a riot out of their own minders short comings towards a couple of hecklers while being shown to be in a world of their own and their media hacks creation. Then to top it all the real party leader's 'big idea' is to re-run the opening sequences of '2001; A Space Odyssey' and superimpose a Labour moanylith for the real thing. It really goes from bad to worse when Labour's big picture opportunity of the day for Jim is with Eddy Izzard and three girls they appear to have trapped in a corner at Starbucks.
 
Labour's moanylith is not black, mysterious, shiny with the sense of unreachable depths in umpteen dimensions which only a few will be allowed to discover. Labour's moanylith is grey with a number of unaccountable and untenable statements scribbled across it in permanent marker. This is not a moanylith to engage with people's fantasies and drive a desire to step outside this world and discover if there are more moanyliths across our known solar system and beyond. I cannot, for the life of me, see the UN asking America and Russia to work together to develop a space station and near light speed ion drive to map their distribution across the universe. The fundilymundily response to this Labour moanylith is to pull the duvet over your head in the hopes it will go away or stuff a hanky in your mouth to try and suppress the fits of hysterical giggles the photo opportunity of an earnest Miliband pointing to the moanylith as the saving of the UK triggers.

I can hear the discussion in Labour's Fawlty Towers amongst the spads and other egregious idiots who roam its meeting rooms and corridors:

"Julian the campaign's going so baaad, like we need to do something .."

"Why, we have Eddy Izzzard wearing lipstick in Glasgow, butching it up with Jim Murphy, how can that go wrong?"

"Well it seems no one in Scotland believes a thing we spin, Julian, we have zilch street 'cred', you know. The Scots are laughing at Eddy poohs. We need some cool idea to get Eddy poohs' 'cred' back or we are just dead in Scotland."

"Antigone - I have just had a brainwave .... what sort of words do folk believe?"

"Truthful ones, stated with integrity ...."

"No, I mean yes, but think bigger ... think biblical .. I am thinking Moses."

"Parting the Red Sea?"

"No that thing he did up a mountain, you know like, the talking to God bit ..."

"We get Blair out again?"

"The commandment thingies, what was it they were written on ..."

"Tablets of Stone!"

"Yeh! So we will create our own 'Tablet of Stone' with a load of promises on it, that we'll never keep, but look cool and folk will trust us because it will look as if we have been given God's blessing. How brilliant is that!"

"Wow! Julian .... it's mega genius - Miliband as Moses; just think of all the spurious links to his integrity and honesty we can make and spin on that idea but will Blair actually speak the words from on high?"

Thus the Labour moanylith was born in the hubris and inanity of Labour's inner political wonkland without any sense of the ridiculousness of this latest iteration of crass stupidity and cupidity. An idea so bad that the writers of 'The Thick of It' say it would have not got past a script conference as it was just too daft to contemplate.

What is next?

Labour locking hundreds of monkeys in a room with word processors to re-write Labour's constitution?

Wait a moment .... I think they have done this one already ..... fundilymundily a complete cock up.

Failed Political Evolution ....

Most of the UK Electorate has recognised the modern, focus group by the nose, plutocratic, Westminster main parties have much in common with an ancient animal; the Lancelet - having a small, poorly developed brain with just the suggestion of a spine.

This is confirmed by the difficulty in telling each species apart as the both say the same things such as 'a vote for the SNP is a vote for the other party' or 'Trident is vital, more vital than reducing poverty in the UK or keeping the English NHS going.'

The real killer which reflects the parties Lancelet primitive brain and lack of spine is their vote to hike their own pay by 11% while both agreeing the cutting of funding for UK public services by £62 billion initially then agreeing another £12 billion cut on top in January 2015 while spending £100 billion on a Trident system the USA would prefer we do not buy because its running costs are wrecking our conventional forces capability, a capability which is more important to NATO.

Throw in the lies and uncosted sweeteners both sides are bandying around in the manner of Rotten Borough politicians and is it any surprise the biggest urge amongst the UK electorate is to give the main parties an electoral 'two fingered' salute.

In Scotland the two fingered salute looks increasingly likely to drive the Libdems to extinction along with the Tories while reducing Labour's 'Scotch' MP's to meeting in the back of a London cab.

American style 'hate politics' of a Crosby or a McTernan is not working. I do not think I am putting my head over the parapet here, just maybe the SNP are popular because they are actually listening to their electorate's needs and expectations rather than pretending everything will be OK - as long as the other bunch do not get in. To paraphrase Lord Foulkes - worse, the SNP are doing this deliberately. 

As for the Lancelet? 

Well it survived both the toxic seas and asteroid strike extinction episodes by living in the mud at the bottom of shallow seas and is in much the same evolutionary state as it was some 250 billion years ago -  bit like the Labour and Tory Party policies they are flogging us along with a dead horse or two.