Saturday, 10 May 2014

Hardworking Britain Better Off .....what?

"Hardworking Britain Better Off " - this Ed Moribund's new blue Labour's protelising slogan as the start of  'Musical chairs 2015 at Westminster' begins in earnest.

"Hardworking Britain Better Off " -  nope, I do not get it.

Geographically Greater Britain is the biggest island in the archipelago called the British Isles to differentiate it from Lesser Britain or Brittany. So does this mean Labour are including our Celtic speaking Breton cousins in their sloganising and why, as the Bretons do not have a vote in the 2015 Musical Chairs event?

What does this mean for those folk on the island of Ireland who are not British, as they are Irish. Does this mean Labour are not reaching out to Northern Ireland as a part of the United Kingdom but who are not Britons or Bretons but Irish. What about all the rest of the islands that make up the British Isles but are not of Greater Britain, even if they are hard working, will they not be better off for their travails? That seems a bit unfair to me, surely they should benefit from their hard work.

The Cornish who are Bretons (or is it Britons) would suggest that apart from areas of Wales the rest of the folk in Greater Britain are not Britons but a bastard mix of Vikings, Angles and Saxons and those, in the part Gordon Brown likes to call North Britain, are a mix of Irish and Picts but are better known as Scots. By the logic, inspired by this mind numbing, political slogan, this means the inane phrase is only applicable in North Wales, West Wales and Cornwall if we are being strictly accurate about the Britons of Britain.

Most folk who are Britons and not Bretons are hard working but a quick straw poll will tell you they are far from better off, for all their hard work, as it seems Westminster's policies are about you working harder for less in real terms. Westminster is also claiming you are hard working even though you have zero hours of hard work this week. As your are hard working, of course, you do not need support from Welfare because you have worked hard for your zero hours and that is reward enough, apparently. As for being sick or disabled you are clearly not hard working so you can just piss off and die because Labour is only interested in hard working Britons even if there is no work to go to because Westminster has just cut funding to Remploy where, as a sick or disabled individual, you used to be hard working. Now, courtesy of Westminster, you are a bona fide scrounger and just scum who does not deserve to be better, let alone better off (so we are getting rid of the NHS, even though it is hard working, so we can make a small number of people even more better off). As for that room you store your bed lift, oxygen bottles and other scrounger paraphernalia its one too many rooms so we will just evict you and give it to a hard working Briton so they can be better off.

Maybe I have misconstrued this gnomic Labour load of old cobblers and it is an open ended statement you complete;

"Hardworking Britain Better Off " not buying out of date 'jam tomorrow' from Ed Milliband.

Then again it could be just another Guardian misprint and should read:

"Hardworking Britain (funds the) Better Off "

The really sad thing is this four word phrase will have cost the Labour Party around £10,000 to be created by 'rebranding consultants' who will have researched the impact of the phrase in focus groups of Hampstead and Islington Labour lovies who were clearly out of their skulls on weed and doing lines of cocaine while sinking pale imitation lager from bottles with bits of lime blocking the top while saying 'hey' a lot and bemoaning that 'Tone' was longer the party's big boy any more. While in this blooterd state saying Yes to the rebranding consultants because it would be a good laugh to waste Ed Milliband plus it kept the drink and drugs flowing. I bet it was some out of his or her skull graphic designer, at the same Hampstead party, who came up with the peas in the pod idea for the failed Food Vat Attack promotion, that will be another £10,000, thanks very much.

This is modern politics where a hanging fragment is supposed to encompass the Labour message for the 2015 Westminster election. For me the message is the voting fodder do not matter enough to be communicated with, Labour do not have a clue what they stand for in the first place and live in a parallel universe where this sort of illiterate rubbish sounds 'cool'.

"Hardworking Britain Better Off "  ....... I think I will strap myself into the interactive Sensaround machine to heighten the artistic effect and read some Vogon poetry as a respite.

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