Sunday, 18 May 2014

Mysterious ways ......

After posting on Wednesday my 'Eckmiester telekinetic pen' burst into activity scribbling me a note from 'Das Eckmiester' not to post anything as the Camoron was in the country and we had better lay low as no doubt GCHQ, MI6, Interpol and the NSA would be out trying to track us all down, because we are all so evil, doing nasty things like not agreeing with Camoron and, worser, pointing out he routinely has not got a 'dokey' when he opens his mouth to speak about Scotland.

Yes folk the secret is out; to tell us Cybernats what to do, Eck uses telepathy and telekenisis to get his message and propaganda out. We understand GCHQ have tried to hire Mystic Meg but she refused to handle the amount of data they want her to sift through to try and find evidence of their claims about Cybernatery's link to Al B' Seeinu and his world domination terrorist group.

So being a good cybernat, while also not wanting a telepathic beating from Eck - it plays hell with my migraines - I did what I was told.  Cameron Veni, Vidi'd and left with his tail between his legs as he discovered Alba is not divided into many parts when it comes to listening to mince from an Eton educated fop. Alba is fairly solid about a Tory telling us what is 'bestest for us ignorant Jocks' with a pretty consistent response along the lines of, 'Awa tae Freuchie, ye bampot!'

What is there to say about a Prime Minister who does not feel safe to walk the streets of his partner country in the United Kingdom? A Prime Minister who comes to Scotland and hides behind barbed wire, high fences, security guards and the military? A Prime Minister who is so sure of himself but can not risk a debate with a subordinate legislator? A Prime Minister that can not even get his story straight when spoon fed it by Mr Naughtie of BBC Scotland?

I think Eck was cunning telling us to lay off Camoron because, by doing so, he forced us to listen what Camoron actually said rather than us leaping into the fray, bare arsed and claymores swinging. So what did Camoron say?


All that air time, all that free media 'sookin' up, all those photo ops with military who could not tell him what they actually think, all that saviour of the world, British establishment knows best backing and after two days all Cameron had to say to Scotland was, in effect, stay with the UK and you might get 'jam tomorrow' sometime in the future. As Prime Minister I can not say for definite because none of the main Westminster UK parties actually want to give Scotland 'squat diddly' in terms of greater autonomy and we can not agree to what level of sops we will, may, may not offer you 'sweaty Jocks' but vote 'No' anyway and be a good chap, what?

With that, he headed south having truly inspired 'Better Together' to new heights of endeavour and rekindled their campaign by adding another layer of unsubstantial froth to their cappuccinos but no real content, not even some chocolate sprinkles.

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