Sunday, 17 January 2016

Snaw Bad or is it?

I have to admit a degree of disappointment when it comes to the 'Snaw' coating most of Scotia this weekend as I have yet to read or see reported Kezia or Frank McNumpty or 'Won't you go home, Jackie Baillie' blaming the coating of the white stuff in their constituencies and political fiefdoms on the SNP or asking "Just what Nicola Sturgeon is going to do about it and how she will prevent it from happening ever again". Maybe they are keeping their powder dry for Thursday's FMQs.

Just where is the Sunday Mail's headline: 'Granny steps in Sauchiehall Street pot hole full of snow and breaks her leg.' or the Sunday Posts headline story from the failed Game of Throne's character 'Jenny the Hujl' (even Throne's fans found this character too far fetched) : 'SNP budget cuts backs are blamed for excess snow.' Even Wings over Scotland has failed to find a 'SNP Government blamed for snow article' and had to drift off into a tale of  Sci-Fi illustrated novels (or comics; as us of an older generation would call them) to highlight Scotland's Unionists latest damp squib of an attempt at FMQs.

The best the Unionists could do this weekend was that nice Mr Corbyn's circumlocutions around how his version of Trident would not be as nasty as the Tory version of Trident, as maybe the missiles might not have their nuclear war heads on them when they went out to play, if he was prime minister. The problem with this bit of thinking is:
  1. If they do not have nuclear weapons on them they are not much of a deterrent
  2. The current multiple entry warhead vehicle mounted on Trident already has a certain number of dummy war heads (mainly because the UK can not afford to put a full pack of warheads in each Trident entry vehicle and no one, with much military sense, buys the 'dummy warheads fool the enemy' claim made by the MoD. The best way to swamp an enemy's defences is to hit them with as many live warheads as possible, simultaneously)
  3. The missile submarines would either be sunk before they got back to the UK to re-arm with the nuclear tipped variant or blown up at Coulport as they re-arm (those pesky Russians have GPS Mr Corbyn and Coulport is hardly a secret base)
Among other matching levels of stupidity from the Unionists, I caught this week, was Len McCluskey's bomb on the BBC's Sunday Scotch politics show when he had no answer to the reality that 65% of his Scottish union membership now had their political levy sent to the SNP or voted SNP in elections. "So why was his Union still backing Labour in Scotland", that nice pro-union BBC man, Mr Brewer asked. Mr McCluskey's answer that Labour's Scottish Branch would just do as they are told by London HQ and Corbyn of the 'Now you see nuclear weapons, now you don't' argument would make the Scotch voter see the error of their ways and return to Labour in droves in May 2016. Even Gordon Brewer found this ignorant response hard to swallow as he looked down at his notes, all that was missing from Mr Brewer was a sad shake of the head. All that hard work to try and make Mr McCluskey (and the Unionists) look good, with some slow paced questions, blown to bits, yet again. This was up there with the Dumfrieshire Labour's list MSP's, Elaine Murray, question to Mr Swinney earlier this week on flood relief and how would 'her' impoverished local shire council, hamstrung by the council tax freeze, be able to afford to pay out £1500 to flood victims? A question which ended with her head in her hands as she was told exactly how the Unionist run Dumfries and Galloway council would pay for it. Within hours the Scottish Government forms to claim the £1500 flood relief grant were up on D&G Council's web site, after a delay of seven days and misguided attempts by Unionist councilors to blame the two local SNP list MSPs for their own failure.

Then there is the Tory's big election message for May 2016, the one with Ruth loudly proclaiming; "On the side of taxpayers", sadly for Ruth, most folk have read the tiny small print in the bottom right corner of the poster which finishes the sentence with this qualifier: "who pay no tax.". So Starbucks, Vodaphone, George Osborne's family business and the rest have little to worry about investigation from HMRC in pursuit of unpaid tax and can continue to scam the UK Treasury out of as many billions of pounds of tax as they like.

The Libdems big shout of the weekend was their 'pot seeking to call the kettle black' claim. Core to this claim was to make out the SNP, as a whole, were just as big a bunch of liars as their own, Court of Session certified liar, Mr Carmichael, was; all on his own some. Poor Wee Willie Rennie as he struggles to hold on to his own, at risk, seat in West Fife and fears his Northern Isles comrades hopes of re-election as constituency MSPs are on an equally shoogly peg as a direct result of the Court of Session's judgement. So he and his comrades seek to spread as much Gugga guano as they can from the back of their taxi. Their tale of 'SNP are as bad as Carmichael' has about as much traction as Willie's shiny, leather soled shoes on an icy hill pavement in Blairhall.

This leaves me with only one hope for a story to satyrise in the incoming week, just how will Keiza seek to spend the same 'Scotch airport tax' about to be devolved (or possibly not) to Holyrood, for the fifth or is it sixth time since the New Year?

Just how do you satyrise Unionist politicians and their parties who are increasingly self satyrising at every turn?

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